June 23, 2015

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During my financial journey of the past two years, I’ve essentially cured myself of the need to shop. I used to be the kind of person who would go out to buy things when I was bored or frustrated. But now the thought of having to stare down a frivolous purchase all month on my Mint.com budget has taken the fun out of it. I don’t even window shop anymore. Why would I tempt myself with all of these shiny things that I don’t need and shouldn’t buy?

Unfortunately, I’ve replaced my old window shopping with a new hobby: window shopping for a new life.

It starts out innocently enough. I’ll just see a gif of a ridiculously cute dog.


And suddenly I’m off and running.

Google Search History

how to adopt a dog
apartment friendly dog breeds
is there a cheap way to adopt a dog
how do I convince my husband to let me get a dog

Then I think, there’s no way that my current apartment would do well with a dog. We have white carpets FFS. I can’t think of a faster way to lose a security deposit. Wouldn’t it be great if we were living in our own place?

Google Search History

maine real estate
cost of maine real estate
how to buy a cheap house
how to buy an actually nice cheap house

I realize that I can’t afford a nice single family home in my area. So I start looking at houses way out in the boonies. It occurs to me that if I buy this house, my husband and I will both have an awfully long commute…

Google Search History

fuel efficient cars
best hybrid cars

And I start to think, wow! We have this beautiful Australian Shepherd-Poodle mix (Aussie-Poo), a Tesla, and a 3 bedroom, 2 bath cape with a woodstove near my in-laws! I guess we’re more than ready to have kids!

Google Search History

how old should you be when you have kids
maine school district rankings
saving for your child’s college
do people really do attachment parenting

Well, now our first child is in a well ranked school and doing great thanks to all of the advanced parenting philosophies I’ve read about. They’d love to have a sibling, but we decide not to bring too many new children into this overpopulated world.

Google Search History

how to become an adoptive parent
how to become a foster parent
foster to adopt
children available for adoption

And did I mention that, through all of this, my husband and I have had thriving careers and are heading towards early retirement?

Google Search History

life money management plan
how much do you need to retire
financial independence
how to pursue professional acting

And then my poor husband gets a series of ten texts in a row from me saying “This dog is available at the humane society let’s go get it after work. Also look at this house. And I think we should get this car. And look at this sweet little boy we can adopt! And I think we should consider using a backdoor IRA to access retirement funds.”

And my husband (god bless him) texts back: “wut”


Oh yeah. I’m not in a position in my life to get a dog, or buy a house, or replace my car, or have children. I have student loans. I only just got out of credit card debt. I’m working on building up my very first emergency fund. I’m just starting out.

And it suckkkkkkkkkkkkkks.

I want it all! I want to get to the part where I live this beautiful life and I want to find some shortcut where I can do it now-right-now!


In comes the voice of reason: every day I’m working hard at my job and gaining experience. My husband and I are currently maintaining a savings rate of 30% of our income and allocating another 25% to our loans. That means that every month, more than half of our money goes towards creating this better future. On the first of the month, I transfer over the money and get a pop of excitement as the numbers change….. And then I have to wait a whole other month before I can make any more progress! Ughhhhh.

Anybody know of a good get-rich-quick scheme?

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